So I survived my non-wedding weekend

Devasting, yes. As bad as I thought it would be, no. But probably was because I over medicated myself with my anxiety pills (not enough to harm myself permanently, but enough to keep calm that day). I know it is not the best thing to do, but I was feeling like crap. Thinking about my ex-fiance, how much I still loved him, how I would have looked with my amazing and perfect wedding dress, the first dance, be his wife….be together for life.

I feel so empty and sad…..I know my happiness should not depend on someone else BUT I JUST HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. HOW CAN HE DO THIS TO ME? CREATE ALL THIS FAKE EXPECTATIONS AND ILUSIONS.

DONT PROPOSE IF YOU ARE NOT SURE, AND DO NOT SAY YES IF YOU ARE NOT SURE.

I was sure about him but I can’t keep waiting for him to change, I am digging myself into a serious depression and isolation. I need to be me again.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s