20 months and counting

It has been 20 months since one of the worse day of my life. Things were really though for a while but now I can say I’m on the other side.

Weddings and engagements: how do I feel about them? Well, I do not feel very confortable yet. When I see close friends in their beautiful wedding’s gown I do feel little angry and sad. I want to feel happy for them but I can’t avoid thinking why they weren’t dump like me. Everytime a friend gets newly engaged I usually congratulate them, send them best wishes but inside me I’m only remembering that  I was them 2 years ago, showing off my engagement ring and being congratulated by everyone…and now I think that everytime I congratulate them for their own engagement, they probably feel sorry for me.

I know is ridic and that the world doesn’t moves around me and that probably no one remember any more about my broken engagement….anyway, that’s how I feel.

Besides that, I feel more confident when I talk about my non wedding to others who didn’t know my past. They think I’m brave I guess but they didn’t see me in my worse. Sometimes I even laugh about some of the stories. I was a huge step for me.

As for my personal life, I have been with my new boyfriend for 6 months. He is sweet, fun, smart and gentle. Top to that, we have so much in common and we are so similar, we tend to agree in everything without discussing it first. I feek very happy around him and I care for him deeply.

And Mr. D. Well, I can’t be sure of how he is truly feeling. I think he regrets letting me go very much and that’s he is unhappy. I feel for him, even though he wasn’t nice to me when we broke up (who’s nice in a breakup right) I believe he genuinely misses me and that he is being miserable. However I’m not sure he loves me. He had many months to sort his life and I gave him many chances to have me back. Now it’s too late. Or at least now is not the right timing.

Is still complicated. Why exboyfriends always want you back when they see you happy with someone else!? So typical. When we were happy he was amazing, that’s why I wanted to be his wife. Now he seems just like a dream. Something that cannot happen.

Love neees to be feed, and he left me starving. And I have someone that adores me and is not scare of commitment.

Being an adult is hard, but we must make the right choices. Appreciate people that love you. Don’t let them go and care for them if you love them too.I
Now I’m ready for my next adventure. Travel the world. Thanks Mr. D.

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